A New Leaf

I've been thinking a lot about goals this week.  For some reason I feel resolved to start my New Years resolutions early.  Last year on New Year's Eve I found out I was expecting.  I was overjoyed, of course, but my annual resolutions didn't even get discussed. I know some of you are thinking, "why have new years goals if you never stick to them?"  I used to agree with you but I have a different opinion now.  If I have 500 goals and I only fully accomplish one of them I am still better off then before I set the goals. 
A lot of people have been blogging about their goals before turning 30 calling it "30 before 30".  Well, since I am about 6 months short I am going to start my very own "10 before 30."  Although I am nervous to blog my goals for fear of being judged or just feeling inadequate, I know that a "goal not written down is just a wish." So, here it goes:

• No soda.  Growing up I was never a huge soda drinker, even though my mom had her Diet Coke every single day. While I was playing sports I was especially against drinking soda, but over the last year I have started to drink way more than I should.  So, I'm cutting it out.  
• Lose 30 pounds.  I hate putting a number on it, but I need to have something to hold myself to.  
• Run a half marathon.  I'm signed up for one in February and with any luck I'll finish it. Haha.  
• Learn to cook.  I really have no idea how to cook anything.  Sure I can make basic things, but if I try to follow recipe that is even slightly less basic I manage to screw it up.  This leads to eating out a lot.  Either because my dinner isn't edible or I didn't even want to try.  I want to try 2 new meals a week. 
• Read 15 books.  I love to read.  I need to start making time for myself, log off the computer and pick up a book.  I'm really excited for this one.  First book on the list is "The Help."
• Get out of the house twice a week.  Right now we only have one vehicle.  Rob takes it to work which leaves the kids and I at home without a car.  We go on walks outside or walk to a friends house but it isn't always enough.  So I am going to get up and take Rob to work at least twice a week so the kids and I can go to the park or the library.  It will be good for all of us.  
• Be more dedicated to my calling at church.  I teach the 8 year old kids in primary.  It is a fun calling, but sometimes I let the lessons go until the night before which makes them not as good.  
• Visit Teach.  Again, I need to be better with my church callings.  I hate calling people on the phone and none of the ladies I visit teach go to church.  It is all a big fat excuse, so I'm going to start doing it.
• Keep my house clean.  Why is this so hard for me to do?  I hate living in a messy house, but that doesn't always motivate me to keep it clean.  My goal is to start a weekly cleaning regimen and stick to it.  I'm sick of the dishes piling up and the laundry looking like it is going to take over the world.
• List 20 things to Ebay each week.  My husband and I sell things on Ebay.  Mostly things we have around the house or things we find at yard sales and such.  It is a good way for me to contribute financially to our family while still being home with the kids.  If the items don't get listed they wont sell.    

I have lots of other things I need to work on.  I'm so far from the woman that I want to become, but everyone needs to start someplace.  I'm excited to start the process of changing my life for the better. 

Due Date

Today is the day that baby Lucas was due.  It seems like a lifetime ago that I gave birth to him even though it was only a few months ago.  The last couple of months have been difficult as I have been thinking about what life would be like with a brand new baby around.  A few ladies in my ward were due with babies within a few days of me and watching their bellies grow and seeing both of them at church on Sunday with precious little girls was very hard.  Of course, I am overly happy for those ladies, but it has left me undoubtedly baby hungry.
I really feel at peace with this loss, but I have still been in a funk for the last few months.  I kept thinking about still being pregnant and then having that brand new baby boy.  I am hoping celebrating this due date will close a door on my pregnancy and really allow me to really move forward.
I know I am years late, but the other day at the Goodwill I found a copy of Aron Ralston's book 127 Hours: Between a Rock and a Hard Place for .50 and I had to have it. When I heard of his rescue i was immediately interested with the story of him cutting off his own arm to save his life while camping in the Utah desert, but finally reading in his own words about his struggle was truly inspiring.  Near the end of his trial in the slot canyon he had a vision of sorts where he was playing with a blond three year old boy.  He knew that this was a vision of his future and the boy was his son.  When the morning came that day he knew he had to live. 
When I read this I was so impressed.  I know when I think of my sweet children I am inspired to live a better life.  I am glad to have found this book at this time.  I really feel like it will help get me out of this funk I've been in.

  The are the tiny hand and foot prints of my baby Lucas and the urn that holds his ashes.  Also, the receiving blanket that the hospital wrapped Lucas in.