"There is a $5.00 handling PEE per event." - said by me
"So is the Wonderful Wednesday discount...is that on Wednesday?"
"What are you bathrooms like? Are they outhouses?"
"We got tickets for tonight, but my wife has diarrhea." - Gross
"Are there any nights that it doesn't cost to come?"
"I would like tickets for Footless."
"What time does Flash Dance start?"
"Are we supposed to bring our own seats?"